John overhears the video below from the other room. “It sounds like that crazy woman on 30 Rock.”
“Jenna?”
“No.”
“Cerie?”
“No.”
“You do realize ‘Crazy woman on 30 Rock‘ is redundant, right?”
(he meant Hazel)
Scenes at our house, early morning edition
November 16, 2012 by
The animals are fed, the dog has been walked, and I’m eking out a few minutes on the couch before I have to get ready for work. I’m just about to go upstairs when Milo hops up on top of me.
Me: Milo, you’re going to make me late.
Milo: folds one paw under.
Me: Milo, why do you always time it like this? I’ve been here for 15 minutes and now you want to cuddle?
Milo: folds another paw under, completing cat-loaf position.
Me: Dammit, stop being so soft and cute at me. You’re going to make me late for work.
Milo: purrs a few bars of “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going.”
Me: Fine, you smug bastard.
Overheard at our house, massive freaking hurricane edition
October 29, 2012 by
Our local news correspondent whack-job: “Tim, I’ve been to gas stations that don’t have gas, I’ve been to Radio Shacks that don’t have transistor radios…”
Jill: “But I’ve never been to me.”
Overheard at our house, kung fu edition
September 23, 2012 by
John tries to explain a martial arts movie to me halfway through.
Me: “That contains way too many antecedentless pronouns and requires me to care.”
Overheard at our house, eighties nostalgia edition
August 3, 2012 by
John: “Did I just use ‘like’ about three times in a sentence?”
Me: “Yes. But to be perfectly fair, you were talking about Men At Work.”
Overheard at our house, modern technology edition
October 14, 2011 by
John: “The news says lines for the new iPhone are wrapping around the block.”
Jill: “Wait – were you thinking of finally getting a smartphone on launch day?!”
John: “I had thought about it.”
Jill: “Are you high?!”
John: “Quite possibly.”
Overheard at our house, classic rock edition
May 7, 2011 by
Following a brief precis of the drama that created the album Rumours, while listening to same:
Me: …and with all the interpersonal crap they created and dealt with, it’s amazing that the band not only didn’t implode, they arguably created their masterpiece.
John: Wait, I thought this was a greatest hits album.
Me: Nope.
John: ::Boggle::
Overheard at our house, telephonic edition
January 20, 2011 by
John, calling parents: “Busy signal?!”
Me (mock horror): “What is THAT?”
John: “I know – where do they live, anyway?”
Me: “1985.”
Overheard on chat
November 11, 2010 by
D: so far our last two immediate topics remind me of the book I just finished
me: well, then.
D: The Guinea Pig Diaries, by A.J. Jacobs
the guy who wrote The Know it All?
me: Day one: “WHEEK, WHEEK!”
Day two: “ooh – PELLETS.”
D: groan
oh please keep going
me: Day three: “Wheeek. ::snuffle:: WHEEK!”
D: um, sarcasm
me: Day four: “OHAI! LETTUCE!! My day is WHEEEEEEEEEK, mofo!!”
D: OHAI LETTUCE
hahahahahahahaaa
me: sometimes the pitch needs a windup…
D: can’t breathe
for laughing
oh that’s good
me: glad you like.
D: oh boy
Overheard at our house, French steampunk edition
September 30, 2010 by
Me: “So remember that trailer of that French steampunk film I showed you earlier this year?”
John: “Yeah – I think so.”
Me: “Well, apparently it was only in theatres on limited release and isn’t on DVD in the States at all.”
John: “So, New York and L.A. basically.”
Me: “Yeah probably.”
John: “And Northern Maine.”