John: “This may be a reverse-skate song.”
Tears for Fears “Shout” is playing.
John: “Whatever happened to the other guy in this band?”
J: “This is Wham!, right?”
Me: “? No.”
J: “Oh, yeah. This is Tears for Fears. Still two guys, right? So whatever happened to the other guy?”
Me: “Andrew Ridgeley? Are we still talking about Wham!? I am fighting hard not to blog this, by the way.”
J: “How long has it been since you blogged? Do it after dinner.”
The scene: Cardboard boxes full of flat-pack cabinetry are stacked neatly all around our dining room, ready for assembly and installation. John sits on a stool amidst the proto-wreckage.
Me: “What are you doing?”
John: “Sitting in the kitchen.”
Me: “Fair enough.”
Me: “A band that can do a bombastic cover of a Depeche Mode tune, and then go on to do something with acoustic guitar and whiny male vocalist? SIGN ME UP.”
Me: “I got back together with my treadmill recently.”
D: “Does that mean you broke up with your treadmill at one point?”
Me: “It knows what it did.”
The animals are fed, the dog has been walked, and I’m eking out a few minutes on the couch before I have to get ready for work. I’m just about to go upstairs when Milo hops up on top of me.
Me: Milo, you’re going to make me late.
Milo: folds one paw under.
Me: Milo, why do you always time it like this? I’ve been here for 15 minutes and now you want to cuddle?
Milo: folds another paw under, completing cat-loaf position.
Me: Dammit, stop being so soft and cute at me. You’re going to make me late for work.
Milo: purrs a few bars of “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going.”
Me: Fine, you smug bastard.
Our local news correspondent whack-job: “Tim, I’ve been to gas stations that don’t have gas, I’ve been to Radio Shacks that don’t have transistor radios…”
Jill: “But I’ve never been to me.”
John tries to explain a martial arts movie to me halfway through.
Me: “That contains way too many antecedentless pronouns and requires me to care.”
John: “Did I just use ‘like’ about three times in a sentence?”
Me: “Yes. But to be perfectly fair, you were talking about Men At Work.”