John: “You want fruit with your breakfast”
Me: “Yes, please – an apple would be great.”
“We have pears.”
“Are they hard?”
“No – they’re right at that point where if you squeeze them a bit, they bruise.”
“Are you bruising my pear?”
“Only a little.”
“That’s it – I’m calling Fruit Protection Services.”
Robynn and Rana rightly note the influence of Eddie Izzard in this post:
Gorgeous little bastards, but they’re only ripe for half an hour and you’re never there… clearly pears deserve a little punishment.
Hee. Eddie Izzard for the win! Here’s the whole clip, if you haven’t seen it (fruit starts at 2:00, pears at 4:30).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KxUD57NFLcU
I had actually thought of including that clip, but I forgot (was in a hurry). I shall promote it to the main body…