The Persistence of Memory
Wherein Our
Heroine Refocuses.
Some part of my mind still thinks I am
supposed to go to work this morning. There's a stubborn little brain cell or
four that didn't get the memo and isn't feeling the bone-deep weariness that the
rest of me is facing over the prospect of picking up my job search and moving
forward with it again. The rest of my brain would cheerfully kill that little
section, as it is now chirruping cheerily away like a demented alarm clock.
"Today's the Day!" it says with blithe ignorance.
That bit of my brain had no
problem letting go of the concept of going to work back in December. I slid
into my severance period as easily as a seal into the sea. I had survived so
many rounds of layoffs that I had stopped panicking over the possibility of
losing my job and had started making plans for what I would do when (not if) it
happened. And so, when that Monday rolled around and I didn't have to suit up
and go into the office, there wasn't a trace of that "aren't you forgetting
something?" feeling.
So the
flip side is this - I had made my plans for re-entering the work force. In the
big picture, I had started to think about how I was going to organize my time
and my thoughts for this new challenge. In the small picture, I knew where I
was going to park, where to go to get coffee, and what sort of personal
administrative details I would have to take care of before today. And all of
that preparatory energy now has to be re-channeled and re-focused to the job
search again. Fine - I'm a pragmatist, if that's what I have to do, then I'll
do it.
If only I could get
that irritating alarm clock to shut up.
Posted: Monday - August 16, 2004 at 07:40 AM
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