Cavalcade of Annoyances

Just a few quickies:

- A new entry in the "airline personnel speak another language and it bears no resemblance to English" category: "Please return your seat backs to the full and upright position." 'Scuse me - I'm sorry. My seat back is empty. Empty and, I think, unfulfilled. What do I do now? Flowers? EST? Reiki? Group therapy? Do tell, Ms. Airline Employee.*

- Business vendors who call and leave 27-minute messages containing their entire sales pitch. Bonus badness points for not leaving your number until minute 26 and reducing your chances of ever receiving a return phone call from slender to nonexistent. Remember: nothing says "I don't give a crap about your product or service," like the voicemail delete button.

- The Cookie. The Cookie that dropped its evil, gooey, poop-resembling chocolate chip on my tan suit before a major meeting. The Cookie that the universe told me not to eat, The Cookie that the universe then nodded sagely about and said, "See? I told you not to eat the cookie."

- The fact that I am between sizes in the worst possible way and that everything in my wardrobe either looks too-tight and craptastic, or too big and craptacular. I blame The Cookie.

*I am often astonished at the fact that people clearly don't listen to what they themselves are saying. Many years ago I attended an all-company meeting where the CEO spoke about how everyone in the company had a role. He elaborated by fatuously noting examples like, "The receptionist's role is to answer the phone," (no - really?). He then clarified his role by saying that job was to overlook what everyone else did.

Actually, truer words were never spoken. I'm just pretty sure that wasn't at all what he meant.

Posted: Wednesday - October 04, 2006 at 09:26 PM | |